A Culture of Kindness and Empathy in the Tuesday/Thursday AM Twos

By Vanessa Ortega, Head Teacher

Evi heard a friend cry, and she turned to me and asked, “Why is she crying?”
Me: “I think she may be sad.”
Evi: “She misses her mommy? Do you miss your mommy?”
Me: “I do miss my mommy sometimes. Do you?”
Evi: “Yeah.”

At the beginning of the school year, the children tend to seek comfort in the teachers. They have some awareness of each other’s distress, and their curiosity sparks many questions. In this case, Evi asked me an initial why question. I responded with what I thought was happening. Evi used her knowledge and personal experiences to connect with me and tried to make sense of what was happening.

Dr. Edith Dowley, Bing’s founding director, believed that children’s interactions with significant people in their lives have a substantial impact on their development. She also believed that “in order to invest themselves in exploring the world around them, children must experience physical and psychological safety.” Bing teachers strive to provide a nurturing environment where children feel safe and valued. We play an important role in modeling kindness and empathy for the children; in times of distress, we might offer a hug or sit down next to the child and read them a book. We meet children in the present moment, and we respond by appreciating the totality of the child’s experience, moment to moment.

For some children, the Twos program is their first school experience that takes them away from their family. It’s a big transition—sometimes easy and sometimes complex. At the beginning of this year, we asked families to send in a family photo. We printed and laminated the photos and kept them in the classroom as a transitional tool for the children. The children carried their family photos as they explored the classroom. The family photo in this context forged a connection between family and school. The children found comfort in holding the photo and identifying each family member to a teacher or a peer. Their family photos traveled around the classroom as the children formed relationships with their teachers and one another. Feeling secure and safe in a classroom setting is integral to forming strong relationships with the people around them.

The roots of empathy start in the early years and develop throughout a person’s lifetime. Empathy is essential for the development of healthy social relationships and character traits like caring and kindness. Empathy does not simply unfold automatically in children; it is an important component of social and emotional development and a skill children learn through practice and exposure to kind, supportive adults who model it for them.

The children in our Twos classroom are beginning to be more demonstrative of empathy toward their families, peers, and favorite stuffed animals. Walk through our Twos classroom and you will see children tending with care to our baby dolls, our classroom pet rabbit Charlie Brown, our stuffed animals, and each other. The children are also beginning to form deeper social connections with one another, demonstrating kindness and empathy in a variety of ways.

Our students are always thinking of their loved ones and their favorite stuffed animals, and they often paint pictures or make food for those dear to them.

One day, while cooking, Asher announced: “I’m going to cook super yummy strawberries for Anna” (his beloved stuffed animal).Tessa added: “I’m going to make a pear for my Bee” (her favorite stuffed animal). “I’m going to make peas for my baby,” Pippa added, looking over at a doll she had seated in a classroom chair.

On another day, Eslan and Pippa were taking care of their beloved stuffed animals.

Eslan: “What’s your cat’s name?”
Pippa: “It’s only a kitty. It’s called a kitty.”
Eslan: “What do your kitty eats?”
Pippa: “It’s a pretend kitty. It’s a kitty stuffy.”
Eslan: “What does your kitty stuffy eat?”
Pippa: “Cat food. It eats cat food.”
Eslan: “I don’t have a cat. I have a bunny.”
Pippa: “I have a cat stuffy and a pig stuffy.”
Eslan: “My bunny is cold. I need to get him a blanket. Pippa, does your stuffed kitty needs a blanket?”
Pippa: “Yeah, it’s cold.”

They walked inside the classroom together to get the kitty and the bunny a blanket to keep them warm.

In these two scenarios, the children were taking care of their stuffed toys. The children appeared to be familiar with receiving this nurturing attention from important people in their lives and were in turn tending to the imaginary physical and emotional needs of their beloved stuffies. Eslan was not only concerned about her bunny being cold, but she was also wondering if Pippa’s kitty needed a blanket too. Although perspective-taking doesn’t always happen in young children, those in our Twos classroom are well on their way to developing these important empathetic skills.

When the children heard peers in distress, they quickly approached them. Sometimes they asked, “What happened?” and sometimes they immediately brought over the child’s family photo. They demonstrated concern for their peer’s well-being and took action to try and help them feel better. The children contributed to a classroom community that is kind and nurturing and reflects the empathy they feel for one another, modeling back to us the behavior we do our best to model for them.