Issue:
Beyond the Binary: Gender Inclusion in Preschool
By Mischa Rosenberg, Teacher
I was caught off guard the first time (of many) when a child asked me, “Are you a boy or a girl?” I think I answered simply, “a girl,” before thinking further about the question. My answers have evolved since then. Now, most frequently, I ask in return, “What do you think?” To this, one child, after a prolonged pause, answered, “I think you’re a girl, but you have short hair.” Later in the morning, she gave me a drawing. “It’s you,” she told me, “but you have long hair and a dress because you’re a girl.” The exchange ended there, but it got me thinking. How do young children come to understand gender? “Boy” and “girl” make for a tidy binary, but what about those that don’t fit neatly into one or the other category?
To begin to explore this question, I attended a teacher training in February 2017 called “Foundations of Gender Inclusive Preschools and Kindergartens.” The course was hosted by Joel Baum, senior director of Gender Spectrum, an organization whose mission is to “create a gender-inclusive world for all children and youth.” Baum began the day by explaining that the term “gender” has long been colloquially used to assign one of two sexes to a person: male or female. However, Baum continued, “gender” in fact consists of three dimensions: people’s biological sex, their gender expression (how they express themselves to the people around them), and their gender identity (their core sense of self). Gender expression and identity do not exist as binaries. They exist along a spectrum. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most children are aware of their gender identity pretty early on in childhood. It is during the preschool years that children, overtly and subconsciously, internalize messages about “what boys do” and “what girls do.” This is also when young children can realize that gender is an individual characteristic —part of what makes each person unique.
To be a gender-inclusive school, according to Baum, means to offer a safe space where the unique gender of each child is recognized and supported. All gender expressions and identities are welcome. Educators and caregivers are tasked with the important work of examining their own understanding of and experiences with gender. Baum mentioned a few sample questions for both self-reflection and for starting the conversation with children: Is there only one way to be a boy or girl? Does everyone think of themselves as either a boy or a girl? Can boys and girls like the same things? Do all boys like the same things? Do all girls like the same things?
Situations that enforce gender binaries—whether child-initiated, such as play in which children insist on “no boys allowed,” or adult-initiated, such as a game of Red Rover that has calls of, “If you’re a girl, come over”—can become important teaching moments. At Bing, we strive to create an environment that reflects diversity in all forms, including gender. This is modeled, for example, through books and puzzles that feature men and women in an array of non-stereotypical gender roles, such as female firefighters or stay-at-home dads. There is always more to learn about encouraging diversity and inclusion to help make everyone feel welcomed.