By Alice Findsen, Teacher
When I observe 3-, 4-, and 5-year-old children at play in one of the nursery program classrooms at Bing Nursery School, it brings me immense joy to see them working together in a shared narrative. Their interactions provide insight into the richness of their exchanges and how much they learn from one another. In conversation with their peers, children articulate their ideas and opinions, often enhancing each other’s knowledge in a spontaneous and meaningful way. Those moments of collaboration that happen during play foster the development of critical thinking, perspective-taking, and problem-solving abilities. But how do young children develop the ability to collaborate? What is necessary to achieve such a skill?
A comparison between the interactions of children in the nursery program and their younger peers from the Twos program highlights the evolving nature of peer interactions and children’s socio-emotional development. Toddlers often engage in parallel play, alongside one another while remaining aware of their surroundings. At this stage, cooperation is largely nonverbal, demonstrated through shared materials, exchanged glances, and mutual imitation. As they grow more familiar with one another, their social connections begin to take shape.
In the classroom, teachers play a crucial role in bridging early interactions. By highlighting common interests and shared experiences, they help children recognize potential friendships. Additionally, they model prosocial behaviors, introduce language that fosters positive peer interactions, and provide strategies for collaboration. In their book, The Play’s the Thing, authors Elizabeth Jones and Gretchen Reynolds explore the idea that teachers work as mediators when supporting children’s interactions, as they are often “modeling and explaining problem-solving skills that children can later practice on their own.” Such an idea can be illustrated by the following anecdote:
Fearne was painting at the easel when Yara approached her and started to add paint to Fearne’s painting.
Fearne (loudly): “No! That’s my painting!”
Teacher: “It looks like Fearne is not done with her painting. Yara, if you want to do painting together, you can ask her.” (Turning to Fearne) “Fearne, do you want to do a painting with Yara?”
Fearne shook her head, refusing the suggestion.
Teacher: “Okay, Yara, you can use this easel instead.” (guiding Yara to the other easel)
Once done with her painting, Fearne looks around for Yara. When she finds her, she asks: “Do you want to do a together painting?” Yara nods, and the two girls paint together for a few minutes. Over the next few days, they take turns inviting each other to paint together.
Guiding children’s interactions helps lay the foundation for meaningful relationships, fostering deeper engagement with peers as they become more willing to compromise and collaborate with those with whom they share a history of positive interactions. As children develop social understanding and their interactions become more complex, they acquire additional skills to navigate these moments effectively. Kristen Mary Kemple, a professor of early childhood studies at the University of Florida, describes this ability as peer competency—the capacity to initiate and sustain interactions, resolve conflicts with peers, and build friendships. Here is an example of how being peer-competent helps children to work together to achieve a common goal:
Brandon began constructing a tower using unit blocks, carefully stacking them one by one. However, as he attempted to balance the blocks, they repeatedly toppled over. Determined, he continued experimenting with different arrangements, but the tower continued to collapse. Noticing his efforts, Ava approached and asked, “Can I help you?” Brandon looked up and nodded. She joined in, adding a few blocks to reinforce the base, briefly stabilizing the structure. However, when Brandon placed another block on top, the tower fell once again. Matteo, who had been observing from a distance, stepped in to assist. Together, the three children collaborated, adjusting their approach and problem-solving as a team. Through their combined efforts, they successfully built a stable tower.
Learning to collaborate takes time and practice as children develop socio-emotional skills. As adults model and support their exchanges, children have the opportunity to practice problem-solving, turn-taking, perspective-taking, and compromising, all fundamental skills when collaborating with others. Through these shared experiences, children strengthen their connections with one another and with adults while contributing to creating a classroom culture that values collaboration, empathy, and respect for others.