Making Rules: Developing Self-Regulation Skills

By Sarah Wright, Head Teacher and Manager of Special Projects

Children come to school with a wealth of knowledge gained from their home environment. This past year in the West PM classroom, children’s in-depth knowledge about sports and games spawned great interest in the topic and prompted discussions about rules as they engaged in various games. These discussions formed the basis of our curriculum and provided us with an opportunity to facilitate the development of self-regulation skills. As children enter school they begin to monitor their behavior with the help of an adult in what we call teacher-regulated activities, in which teachers help children control their behavior and sustain their focus. As self-regulation skills develop over time, teachers can lessen teacher regulation support and help children learn to control themselves even when a teacher is not present. Thus, self-regulation means that a child can voluntarily engage in social interaction or play with or without an adult present.

According to Lev Vygotsky, a Russian psychologist and an influential educational theorist, games with rules provide an opportunity for self-regulatory development. He suggests self-regulation in play becomes possible because the child’s need to follow the rules of play overrides his or her own desires. In early childhood, such play takes the form of make-believe play, in which children act out different roles. Sports and games emerge in late preschool years and children practice this type of play mainly at elementary school age.

Vygotsky writes: “At every step the child is faced with a conflict between the rule of the game and what he would do if he could suddenly act spontaneously. In the game he acts counter to what he wants. … He achieves the maximum display of willpower…” (“Play and its role in the mental development of the child,”Soviet Psychology, 5, 6-18.)

In the following anecdote, the children are faced with such a conflict. One child desires to kick the ball first, showing a lack of awareness of the rules of the game of soccer, much to the annoyance of the rest of the group:

Child 1: “You can’t shoot first! That’s not fair. It’s cheating.”

Child 2: “HEY! I’m first, not you.”

Child 2 turns to Child 3 and excludes him from the game by taking the ball and turning his back on him.

Child 1: “He doesn’t know how to play soccer. He can’t play.”

Teacher: “Can you help him understand the rules?”

Child 1: “There’s only one goalie, and you have to shoot it from there.”

Child 3: “And I’m the one who tells you if it’s a goal. I shout “GOAL!” It’s only a goal if I shout it.”

Child 1: “But it has to go in the net.”

“There’s only one goalie” and “if it goes in the net that’s a goal,” are both clear examples of known and accepted rules. It was evident that Child 1 and 3 were in agreement as to how many goalies were needed and who got to shoot the ball. However, frustration seemed to occur when Child 2 attempted to alter the rules during this social interaction. His desire to kick the ball first was not accepted by the group and disrupted the play. Child 3 was accepted back into the play when the teacher helped the group acknowledge each other’s ideas and work through them. Asking the right question at the right time such as, “Can you help him understand the rules?” established a context for more intentional behaviors.

Such conflicts in play are important moments in the classroom. They provide the children with repeated opportunities to work thorough difficult situations.

This builds up resilience and helps them become aware of their own actions. It is through developing this awareness that children move from reactive behaviors to intentional ones.

In order for the children’s intentional awareness to develop, they must participate in interactions in which their behavior is guided by others. Children often notice the actions of others, especially if they are breaking the rules, even when they themselves do not notice if they are breaking the same rules. In others words, they apply the rules to others before applying them to themselves. This is the first step towards generalizing the rules and is a necessary part of development.

It is at this stage that a teacher can guide the child’s behavior in ways he or she is not yet capable of doing independently. In this soccer game, for example, asking the children to clarify the soccer rules rather than dictating them helped the children develop the tools that will lead to self-regulation. When an adult makes all the rules and prevents the child from exercising his or her will, their relationship becomes one of inequality that prohibits autonomy.

At Bing we want to contribute to the development of autonomous, self-regulating human beings who can make decisions based on the perspectives of all involved. That is why, when supporting children through these conflicts, compliance is not our primary goal. Rather, we welcome and encourage children’s attempts to think about real problems and frustrations they encounter in working as part of a community. The teacher’s desire is to enable children to accept their own ideas in relation to others and work through them in a supportive and safe learning environment. As teachers we acknowledge that the search for the right answers is not the central focus of this teaching. We suggest, however, that this exploratory journey will increase self-regulation skills and help prepare children for the next stage of their development.