Kindergarten Information Night

By Michelle Allison, Teacher

Take with a grain of salt anything that is said by a professional,” Rick Lloyd, MD, a Palo Alto Medical Foundation pediatrician and father of five, told Bing parents and other members of the Bing community at the 17th annual Kindergarten Information Night, in January. As in years past, Lloyd and Susan Charles, principal of Ohlone Elementary School, shared their expertise about young children and kindergarten readiness. Afterwards, members of a panel, including the featured speakers and Bing teachers—some of whom are former kindergarten teachers—answered questions from parents in the audience.

Lloyd began the evening by painting a portrait of a typical five-year-old child. First, however, he warned parents that since all children are unique, parents should not worry if their child failed to match the portrait. No one child perfectly fits any model, Lloyd said. He and other speakers encouraged parents to have confidence that they know their children better than anyone else does, and consequently that they should do what they think is best for their child.

Children who are five want to be good at home and at school “just to be good.” Lloyd contrasted this with the four-year-old child, who is more stubborn and difficult. At five, mom is still the center of the child’s life, and he wants to please her and everyone else he comes into contact with. A five-year-old has increased enthusiasm, more demonstrative affection, and an increased love of learning. At this age, eating and sleeping, as well as toileting problems are no longer as much of an issue. However, dreams become more real to him, and he may start to have nightmares. At five, the child begins to play mostly with other children of the same gender, but his play also becomes increasingly competitive. However, this is the age the child begins to have true friends. In fact, relationships with parents, grandparents, and siblings often improve vastly at this age. Mentally, a five-year-old lives in the here and now and has little sense of the past and future. Thus, he both has few worries, and he also views death as something temporary.

Most pertinent to kindergarten readiness, he also is more aware of his own abilities in comparison to the children around him. This child is proud of the facts he knows, and he enjoys showing them off. Lloyd said children this age “need a sense of their own competence.” For example, having the child complete age-appropriate chores makes the child proud of himself, which increases his confidence. Also, because of the child’s desire to please others, as well as his growing sense of accomplishment, Lloyd warned parents to be increasingly aware of their own expectations that they are placing on their children at this time. Parents should be careful not to show too much disappointment when a child this age fails to live up to their expectations, Lloyd said. Because of the child’s desire to please others, falling short is especially upsetting.

Charles began her remarks by acknowledging that sending a child to kindergarten is “a big step.” But she reassured parents, “You are sending your children to good people and to good places…you cannot go wrong.” She told parents that there are 12 elementary schools in Palo Alto, and one Young Fives program. Each school is highly esteemed, she said, adding that all are wonderful but differ in their philosophies. Hoover is on one end of the spectrum, teaching in the most traditional, back-to-the-basics manner. Ohlone is on the other end, teaching in a less structured, free-form style. All the other schools are composed of some mix of both educational philosophies, Charles said.

Next, she emphasized that children are pushed too much these days. She pleaded with the parents to “let them be children.” She said kindergarten is not a contest, so she told parents to not feel concerned if, for example, their child is not reading when he enters kindergarten. She reminded parents that it is the teacher’s job to be educating the children after they enter kindergarten. “Parenting has become panic,” Charles continued. “If we are frightened, [children] are frightened.” Children now are “programmed to death.” It is best, she finished, to let young children play, for their work is their play. She encouraged parents to play with their children and have fun with them, and above all enjoy them.

After the formal presentations, the panel took questions from the parents. In addition to Lloyd and Charles, the panel included Beverley Hartman, Head Teacher in Bing East AM classroom and lecturer in Stanford’s psychology department; Sarah Wright, Head Teacher in Bing East PM classroom and former kindergarten teacher in England; Beth Wise, Head Teacher in Bing Friday Two’s Class, school music specialist and former kindergarten teacher at Nueva School; and Parul Chandra, Head Teacher in Bing Center AM classroom and TA for Psychology 147, “Development in Early Childhood.” A summary of several questions and their answers follows:

Should I hold my kindergarten-eligible child back or send him to kindergarten?

Parul Chandra addressed this question and said that the answer is never simple. Rather, it depends on the child and should always be addressed on an individual basis. “Opportunity Deferred or Opportunity Taken? An updated look at Delaying Kindergarten Entry” in the September 2003 issue of Young Children describes research that shows little benefit socially, emotionally, and cognitively to holding a child back who is ready for kindergarten, especially when the reason is simply so the child is older, bigger, etc., compared to his peers.

However, in the case where parents and teachers have legitimate concerns about a child’s readiness for kindergarten, the answer is different. Chandra reminded parents that “the reason [should be] compelling” to hold a child back. To help parents decide when this is the case, the panel agreed that parents should always talk to their child’s teachers, since they interact with and know the child well. The panel also encouraged parents to follow their own instincts about their child, since they know him best. It is so important for parents to “know [their] child,” Beverley Hartman added, and to “look at what they are competent in.” Parents should recognize that they know their child better than any kindergarten does, especially when a school will try to convince a parent to hold a borderline child back. One panelist reminded parents that there is always a one-year range of ages and abilities in a kindergarten classroom. Hartman was confident in concluding that every child will find his place along that continuum when he goes to kindergarten.

How do I know which kindergarten is the best fit for my child?

Susan Charles addressed this question. “Children are the most adaptable things on earth,” but “not all parents fit [every school].” Charles really wanted parents to understand that most children will fit in most schools because they so easily adapt to their surroundings. It is more important for both parents to find the school that best fits them, and enroll their child there. To help parents decide the school of best fit, Charles encouraged parents to both ask themselves what qualities they want in a school and then to directly ask the school questions in order to better understand the school’s philosophy. “There are no stupid questions to ask a school,” Charles said. Researching the schools is an important step in the process of choosing a kindergarten because, as she mentioned earlier, in Palo Alto there are 12 kindergartens. Parents must feel comfortable with the school they send their child to. In closing, Charles said, “The child will be fine. If [the parents] are not fine, the child will feel it.”

Should parents enroll their child in the Spanish Immersion program even if they don’t speak Spanish themselves? Will the parents feel left out of the child’s educational processes since they don’t speak Spanish?

Charles reassured parents that the Spanish Immersion program is thriving and would have been closed if it were not being run well. Children in the Spanish Immersion program have API test scores equivalent to children in other schools. Charles admitted that some students who enter the program speak Spanish at home, whereas other children do not. In the latter case, Charles reassured parents that they can still be involved in their child’s education. She suggested parents could read a book in English to their child when he gets home from school. Further-more, just because their child is learning in Spanish at school, Charles told parents that they should not be shy to help their children learn at home in their native language. Children are adaptable. Charles said, “Leave Spanish to the school. The other stuff, do in [the native language].”

At schools where there are more than one kindergarten class, should I request a specific teacher or let the school place my child?

Charles again addressed this question by noting that every school in the Palo Alto school district strives to make each classroom of about 20 children balanced in every way. The school can best match up a child to a classroom by learning about the child from parents’ and teachers’ comments. Those descriptions of a child are the most valuable source of information in placing her in a classroom. Charles urged parents who write to a school on behalf of a child to be honest in their comments because the school takes them very seriously.

The night ended on the same encouraging note as it started, likely quelling any anxiety parents felt and offering this advice: Slow down and enjoy your child in this day and age when young children are facing more and more pressure. Lloyd began the night by telling parents that “It [doesn’t] get better…truly [five] is one of the more enjoyable ages.” Towards the end of the night Beth Wise also encouraged parents to revel in their child. “Enjoy and appreciate the spirit of your child…notice what it is they have. Being there for them [is your] gift to your child…”

In closing, Wise shared this story from when she taught kindergarten at the Nueva School in Hillsborough. She gathered her students together and explained that learning new tasks is like having doors in their minds open, one by one. Behind each door in their mind is a new learning task, but in each child, doors open at different times. No child is smarter than another; each one has different timing. One child might have a “poetry door” that is wide open, but a “reading door” that is still closed. In time, all the doors will open gradually, Wise told her students. As the oldest Bing students enter kindergarten, may our community remember and take heart in what Wise depicted so beautifully for us. Each child has tremendous gifts and parents must know their child and be their best advocate in the days ahead.