By Sadie Parrinello, Head Teacher
Building trusting relationships may be thought of as the primary developmental task—the very foundation of a 2-year-old’s introduction to Bing Nursery School as they venture from home to school. For most children, entering the Twos classroom is their first experience in being part of a community outside the family unit. Here, each child’s experience of transitioning from home to Bing’s Twos program is unique. It’s a delicate and intentional response from teachers, who support each child’s experience with gentleness and consideration for their individual personality, background, and family. For some, the transition is seamless, with children showing poise and confidence as they embark on the new experience. Other children may feel quite tender about separating from their caregivers. In every case, teachers work closely with parents, responding sensitively to everyone’s needs. Building trust with children can’t be hurried—it takes time to understand each child and to establish meaningful relationships.
One of the first points of intersection children have when entering the classroom is placing a piece of fruit brought from home in our share basket. The fruit is there to enjoy at snack time, but it also represents home and family, and serves as a bridge of connection between home and school. In concert with everyday classroom arrival routines, each family creates transition rituals of personal meaning.
For some, it’s the reciprocity they encounter with Charlie, our classroom’s pet rabbit, when they bring him a handful of parsley in the morning and enjoy a warm connection in return. For others, it’s the independence they enjoy in a space designed specifically for 2-year-olds to inhabit autonomously. Prior to engaging in a breadth of activities, some children create a painting for their parents, tangibly bridging the connection between home and school while also signifying the bond with their family. Even as children develop increased interest in negotiating and independently exploring the world outside the home, these paintings or other crafts created and saved for a parent hold sentimental meaning for the child as a placeholder until the parent returns at the end of the school day.
A measured approach to the process of saying goodbye reveals to children that their feelings are important to parents, caregivers, and teachers—significant insight for children to develop as they enter the Twos program and begin advancing their ideas about the world. While there are many ways for parents and caregivers to approach separation, the following is a general arc for families to consider as they determine what works best for them:
• Engage in an activity with your child of your child’s choosing.
• Give your child a concrete understanding of where you’ll be after you leave the classroom (e.g., to work or grocery shopping, though ideally your child won’t be particularly interested in the activity you intend to do). Make sure your child and teachers know who will be picking them up at the close of the day.
• Say goodbye, rather than departing when your child is playing or distracted, then follow through and depart when you say you will.
• Return when your child expects you to arrive.
By design, Bing offers a gradual beginning to the Twos program, including a parent-only orientation meeting and a small-group (half the class) visit day when parents stay and play alongside their children, making meaningful and shared connections as a family with the nursery school. We also offer home visits to establish a rapport with children and families, which helps children to build trust with teachers and contributes to a successful transition to school.
Additional strategies teachers use to support transitions are discussed during our fall conferences with families, when teachers listen carefully as parents share their child’s developmental history and provide information that helps teachers to personalize the approach. Understanding what comforts a child is very valuable information for teachers and helps to frame our thinking and approach with each child. Some children use a transitional object, such as a blanket, toy, or article of clothing, to give them a sense of security when entering a new situation. Child-centered in our approach, we bring a compassionate response to children’s emotionally vulnerable moments. The outcome we strive for is one where children meaningfully engage in the classroom as their special place beyond the haven of home.
It is perhaps the most intricate work of the teacher to support a child’s transition from home to Bing. Intuitive creatures, children can feel and discern when they are cared for with genuine consideration for their uniqueness. These deeply meaningful experiences and milestone events form part of the foundation and influence the trajectory of children’s self-concept and their relationships throughout the early childhood years.